Thursday, 25 October
  • Ron
    wasn’t kiddin about the other booty call though, heads up
  • MK47
    Yeah, sure. Whatever.
  • Wes Warner
    so are you two together now, or nah?
  • Anthony Guinto
    No problem man, happy to take the car all weekend long.
  • Ma
    Maybe Christmas?
  • Nora Saylor
    i didn't know. but your secret's safe with me. meet at the cafeteria? feels the least hospital-like in there. what's your eta looking like?
  • Tessa
    Thanks. I’m sure it’s fine but I’ll give it a look.
Thu, Oct 25, 02:49

Hey. You awake?

yea but you’re late, my other booty call’s already here

Thu, Oct 25, 03:11

seriously though what’s up

Think I can crash over at your place for the night?

don’t feel like crossing the bridge
home in the fog huh

Yeah, something like that.

happens to me alllll the damn time

i don’t even know why you
bothered texting

mi casa es su casa

Okay. Thanks.

wasn’t kiddin about the other booty call though, heads up

Wed, Oct 24, 07:13

Wait, wait.. When I pictured it,
I imagined just like a shriek.

Was it more than that? Like, you told him off for it??

A scream, like a terrifying one.

You’ll have to demonstrate tonight when I bring out the teddy bear again.

Speaking of, you never told me you cut your hand open!

I didn’t cut my hand open. It was a blister that split!

You didn’t even notice, did yuh? It was minor, I promise. I just wanted to seem gritty and tough on the job for you.

Dont cut your hand open for me!

I posted the picture for you not cut my hand open just to seem tough!

I need to inspect your hands when
I get home

Maybe my hands need to inspect you.

Maybe but thennn I might come off as a hypocrite

HA a hypocrite how??

I may have some of my own secret cuts

..like, literal ones? What are you
talking about?

Literal 😬

Alright pause everything for a sec. What are you talking about?

I’ve got a couple bruises and
a thing on my arm

Doing what?!

Is that why you've been.. Every time I’ve tried to come on to you this week, you change the subject. And fall asleep before I get back and all that..

I fall asleep cause my body is

And maybe

You’re acting weird

What happened?

Wed, Oct 24, 13:44

It was an accident.

Like a car accident.

We could say that yeah!

That’s what you told me the last
time. And it wasn’t true.

Wed, Oct 24, 17:44

But it’s easier to explain

Wed, Oct 24, 19:21

You don’t have to explain anything.. You can just tell me what happened.

Wed, Oct 24, 22:16

I woke up and they were there.


I’m sorry. It doesn’t make sense, I know

It’s late, you should go to bed.

It’s not that late. Are you mad?

No. Why would I be mad?

Scared.. Apprehensive, maybe.


Yeah, I guess. I don’t really have a word for the feeling.

Can you describe it ?

Like spinning and floating but heavy and also real still. Vertigo maybe? Making me a little nauseous, I should probably get outta the car and go for a walk or something but I’m not sure if I really wanna move.

Don’t get into an accident.

Into the loft?

Move from my seat.

Anyway, I think I’m gonna spend the night at Ron’s. You don’t have to wear long sleeves and all that just to hide whatever from me.

You are mad

I’m not.

It’s just for one night. I gotta think, some stuff.

You can’t think here?

Look, you didn’t want me to see, right? I’m just making that easier.

I didn’t want you to worry.

Whether I worry or not, that’s up to me. You can’t keep deciding that for me. Simone’s school and, this. Whatever this is. How the hell am I supposed to know what else I’m maybe not supposed to worry about but nothing’s changing that maybe I should be.

So the moment I saw them I should have told you and then what?

Well, guess we’ll never know now. Maybe something like figuring it out together before you hide it and I find out anyway and I can’t trust every damn time you say you’re fine.

I’m sorry. I don’t know what to think about all of it.

It’s okay.

It’s a bad habit. Not wanting people to worry.

I’m not people.

Not wanting you to worry. It’ll probably happen again. Waking up with bruises or cuts and it won’t make any sense to you. And I can’t stop it. And I don’t know how bad it’ll be. It makes me feel weird. It reminds me of things I try to forget. Things I don’t like to talk about. I know that’s not fair to you cause you may want to talk about it. Or have feelings about it. I’m sorry.

I don’t need protecting from the truth. Okay, Maya? If you don’t wanna talk about something, we don’t have to talk about it. But I’d like to know what we’re not talking about.

Has she been around my kids?

I don’t want her around my kids.
Not Simone either.

She’s not a bad person. The fact that you don’t wake up with bruises or Simone or anyone else in my life that I care about is cause she kept it from happening somehow.

I don’t care if she’s Mother Teresa, I don’t want her around the kids.

And I don’t want you waking up
with bruises anymore.


If I knew a way to fix this I would do it. I think most of us would.

So it’s true then? You’re one of these.. Christ this whole world’s gone nuts.

I’m not the whole world.

You’re mine. You’re my whole fucking world, what am I supposed to do with this?

Exactly what you’ve been doing.
We’ve been okay, right?

Wed, Oct 24, 23:44

Besides the time in January, has there been other times? Bruises and stuff you didn't tell me about?


Am I spending too many hours working, how come I don't notice? If she's been around my kids, she's been around me, right? You're saying I can't tell the difference when you're somebody else?

I’m not sure how it works exactly.

Because it's insane. This is insane.

There's a group. Concerned citizens against insanity or something like that. Saw them picketing out at City Hall. I want us to go. One of their meetings or whatever.

What is that?

I don't know.. Some crazy, conservative right-wing type group... Those folks on the news making a bunch of noise about what the government's doing about this problem right under our noses.

They gotta have some answers,
right? How to fix you?

I don't mean that you need fixing, but.. It can't go on like this. You said you were pretty beat up the last time. You say you can't stop it from happening again. What if it's worse next time? And, I mean, what's she even doing with you, y'know?

You lost me at conservative and right wing

Yeah, I figured. That's why I'm asking if we can go. Just to see what it's all about. If the government should be doing something, if they can do something and they're not, then.. I don't care what group I gotta join, y'know? Someone should be doing something about it.

I’m sorry I don’t have the answers

The government doesn’t give a fuck about anyone. It’s corrupt from top to bottom and they’re the last ones who should know anything about me.

I'll go then. I'll go pick up some pamphlets or something. Hear them out... I keep switching the channel every time they're on the news or the radio...

And then what?

And then war, probably.

I don't know, Maya.

Can’t we just go on like we
have been?

And never know when I'll wake up without you? Kissin' a stranger before I leave for work, come home and find out you're in the ER 'cos some fucking superhero couldn't just stay out of it.

That’s not what I am. Not what she is. If she were I wouldn’t have the bruises to begin with.

Hawkeye's a superhero and all he's got is a bow and a buncha arrows. And he's an Avenger. A team of superheroes.

Eh. He’s kinda in over his head
I always thought.

Babe, that's not helping your case a whole lot. Unless she's an Avenger and gets to own a farm somewhere.

Shit.. What I'm saying is it doesn't matter what she is or isn't. If I'm getting this right, she comes around and you go away. But whatever she does, it falls back on you, right? That's like giving a total stranger your car keys and not expecting to wake up without a car.

Except I’m not giving anyone anything. I can’t control it.

Yeah but you want us to just not do anything about it..

We can come up with something. On our own

We don't know anything about it.. I haven't been paying attention. Seemed like other people's problems...

I told you before that I
was different.

You said Tyler Durden not Hawkeye from the Avengers who's in over his head.

It’s more Tyler.

Not when some guy out there's claiming to be Aquaman.

I’m not Aquaman. I’m not anything special. I’m a regular person and so is she. Mostly anyway. And I would never say anything like that. In public. I’ve only talked to two other people about this. I don’t think putting a spotlight on myself is the answer

That's not what I was saying.. I'm saying that when you told me you were different, it was along the lines of a... Personality issue. Split personalities. Not that you're part of some.. Epidemic or whatever.

So you thought I was crazy?

I never saw it. I don't know what I thought. It didn't come up again after those couple times at the start..

The good ole days. Fucking
Aquaman and his big mouth

He's not the only one.

If they have information.. Like, even just when it happens. Maybe we can leave town before it does. So far all the stuff's been happening mostly in this city, right? Maybe if we leave town before it happens.. You don't.. Wake up with fucking bruises.

I didn’t mean for you to worry about this. I won’t let anyone get hurt. If you want me to leave if it happens when the kids are there I will, I swear.

Maya, it's not up to you, whether I worry or not.. It's.. I have to. It's part of caring for someone and all that. And I don't want you involved with this, any of this.

I don’t want to be involved. It wasn’t always like this. I don’t know why me and not the next person. If I could stop it I would but I can’t. I don’t want this to be a burden for you.

You keep saying that if you could stop it you would, but then you don't wanna do anything different from what I'm guessing you've already tried. And I'm sorry, but.. You can't tell me to not care. Don't you see that? It's a burden 'cos.. I'm in this.

You not wanting it to be a burden to me, that's like saying you don't want me in this.

As long as I’m the one with the bruises and you aren’t noticing anything wrong and the kids are safe and happy then I’m okay. I want you to be okay too.

This is some weak, victim mentality and you know it. I'm not okay with it. I'm not okay with just.. Sitting back and pretending like.. Like this shit isn't happening for you. Like I could be kissin' a stranger good morning and 'not notice'.

You’d notice. We’re not the same. I don’t think she’s pretending to be me.

And I still wouldn't be okay with it.

I know this is a lot to deal with. And just because I’ve come to terms with it doesn’t mean you have to get over it in the same way. You deserve more than that. If you wanna go to that meeting you should go. Whatever makes you feel safe.

I'm gonna stay at Ron's for awhile. You should go to bed. I might come by in the morning to pick up some things.

That’s it?

That's it about what?

You’re just leaving?

I don't know what to do.

Not be around me

How do I even look at you, Maya?

With your eyes

When I can't protect you.

You can.


There’s other parts of me that need protecting

Thu, Oct 25, 01:32

I feel lost. Lost like when I first left for this city. Like when I was first here.

I shouldn’t have told you.

Right, 'cos me finding out after we'd gotten married and had kids and our perfect fucking life, that'd be a way better time to find out.

Or if I saw the bruises myself. Whatever thing you have on your arm. Fuck.

Cause you wouldn’t be lost
right now. You’d be home and in bed.

If I had terminal cancer, would you wanna know? If for nothing else, just so I don't have to keep it a secret and carry that shit on my own.

I’m not dying. My life is complicated but it’s not life or death. I don’t know how people like me manage. Have normal lives. I went to a dinner once with some but I didn’t know a lot of people very well and it felt weird to get personal. But some have children — more than one, even. Others seem to have decent love life — from what I could tell but I think it only works because both parties are sort of dealing with the same thing. It struck me then how difficult and unfair it would be for someone who isn’t going through this to have to put up with it. The strangeness of it all. How it must seem so shady. So crazy. How hard it would be to ask someone or expect someone to want to deal with it. I wanted to make it as easy as I could for you but I sucked ass.

Yeah. Sometimes a road's taken more often for reasons, pretty sure.

Is that what it comes down to? You end up with somebody like you?

More likely I end up alone

Yeah okay. Goodnight.

I’m sorry

Me too.

It wasn’t your fault

I'm sorry for not being a superhero.

Every time you say that I wanna

Just go to sleep, I'm not feeling real fly myself

Yeah. I’ll leave early. Be home late. Plenty of time to get your things

Yeah, sure. Whatever.